You can’t lead from empty.
I know that sounds obvious but watch most leaders for a week and you’d think they’re trying to disprove it. They run themselves into the ground, skip lunch, answer emails at midnight, and wonder why they’re snapping at their team over minor issues. The stress of leading constant change is immense, and if you think you can power through it indefinitely without recharging, you’re fooling yourself.
It's All About Finding Balance
When you don’t create moments of rest you burn out. Not in some dramatic, collapse-on-the-floor way necessarily (though sometimes that does happen), but in that slow erosion where you’re technically still showing up but bringing progressively less of yourself to the work. Your thinking gets muddy. Your patience evaporates. Your energy flatlines. And you become the kind of leader nobody wants to follow.
I know this because I’ve been living it. Over the last few months, we’ve had significant changes in our business that required me to be on the road for weeks at a time. I was working early. 3am or 4am early. And pushing well into the evenings most days. Weekends became just more workdays with different lighting. And my tank ran completely dry.
I found myself more easily frustrated, more easily distracted, not giving anyone my best. Instead, I was giving everyone whatever scraps were left. And the people who got the worst of it? My family. The ones who matter most were getting the leftovers of my energy while everyone else got the prime cuts. That’s backwards, and I knew it, but knowing something and changing it are different things.
Leadership Means Setting An Example
There’s something worse than your own burnout. That’s the culture you create when you model terrible boundaries. When you’re constantly exhausted, perpetually available, and never unplugged, you’re telling your team that’s what success looks like. You’re teaching them to sacrifice themselves on the altar of productivity. And they will, because people watch leaders more than they listen to them.
So I started making changes. Daily exercise whenever I could find it, even if just a quick walk. Connecting with people who inspire me instead of just people who need something from me. And here’s one that might sound ridiculous. Going to bed at 7pm or 8pm when I don’t have evening obligations. It feels almost embarrassing to admit but getting an extra few hours of sleep when you actually have the opportunity can transform your life and work.
I also started saying no. More often, more firmly. When I felt pressure to say yes, I’d offer to meet several months down the road instead, giving myself breathing room in my schedule. I blocked out thinking time and special project time each week so I’m not constantly sprinting from one obligation to another. And whenever possible, I make time in the mornings to read my Bible and at least a few pages from a book that stretches my thinking beyond myself.
No "Buts" About It
None of this is revolutionary. But it’s working. And that’s the point. Creating space to recharge isn’t some luxury you earn after everything else is done. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible. When you’re actually recharged, not just caffeinated and pushing through, you bring better energy to your team. Your thinking is clearer. Your patience runs deeper. You’re the person your team and family needs you to be.
Ask yourself this…who are the people that renew your spirit and refocus you on what actually matters? Not your board members or your direct reports, but the people who fill your tank rather than drain it. When was the last time you sat with them? Enjoyed a meal or a coffee with them? Spent an uninterrupted hour in conversation with them?
And what about the things outside of work than at bring you genuine joy? The activities that make you lose track of time. The pursuits that remind you there’s more to you than your job title. How much time are you protecting for these?
Think about the places where you feel most alive. These aren’t optional luxuries. They’re the environments where you reconnect with yourself, where the constant noise quiets down enough for you to remember why you’re doing this work in the first place.
Your approach to rest sends a message. If you’re always available, always on, always grinding, your team learns that’s the standard. If you protect boundaries, take real breaks, and come back refreshed, you give them permission to do the same.
Integrity Equals Action
Look at your calendar right now. Over the next month, where have you blocked time to connect with people who renew you? Where have you protected space for activities that bring you joy? If these things aren’t on your calendar, they’re not real priorities. They’re wishes you hope might happen someday.
Block the time. Protect it like you would any critical meeting. Because leading well over the long haul requires you to recharge. And if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for the people counting on you to show up as your best self, especially the ones waiting for you at home.
You can’t lead from empty. Stop trying.
Your Leadership Legacy
Our team at DickersonBakker helps level up leadership for our partners every day and we can help you too. Email me at andrew@dickersonbakker.com, or call or text me at 612.201.1967 if you want to talk about how to gain clarity for your organization.
